Confessions of a Shiftless Mind

I am typing on my laptop in the dark as my three sons share a slumber in the next bed and my wife recovers from a stomach bug that struck at midnight last night.

It’s been a slice reconnecting with the fam. Ran into Jon at the gas station - I knew he moved back up here a year ago but never figured I’d just bump into him. Still hoping to see any of Greg, Cal or Boyd before I head back but hope is fading.

As for my homework - more than half finished the second book, but I really need to get cracking on writing the other two papers. 2600 words to go!

Free wireless internet. Cool.

Let me just say, why don’t more people travel the mountain byways in winter? They are GORGEOUS. I mean GORGEOUS. Drop dead stunning.

The snow makes everything dramatic.  We told the kids to look at the trees, because God had made every one of them His own Christmas tree. That is exactly how they look.

The mountains look… oh about 1000% better with snow on than without. I don’t know why, they just do.

There is nothing like a creek or river, running dark and blue, with snow piled on its banks 2 feet deep, just stopping suddenly at the water’s edge.

Unless it is compared to the fractured sculptings where the water has frozen over then begun to break up.

The train winding its way up the valley across from the highway, normally plain dirty earth tones that blend into the dirt in summer, stand out like Christmas ornaments, flashing in between the snowcovered trees.

Let me tell you, the slicker roads and the intermittent snow is so worth it.

One last bonus - the traffic is terrific. It is so much more relaxing driving the interior when you only see another car every 5 minutes or so.

Tomorrow: on to Edmonton and Christmas Eve with my family. If I don’t post again before then, Merry Christmas to you and yours!

Venturing off into the wilderness. Far from civilization to the wilds of oilfield boomtowns and fields of snowdrifts. Departure: T minus 4 days and counting.

I had the box cover installed on the truck, so our luggage will stay mostly dry on the way out there. Supposedly I will get better fuel economy but I haven’t seen it yet.

I googled an old, old friend of mine who I have been horribly delinquent in keeping in touch with. The sneak sneakily called me back right away. It’s going to be good if we can hook up over the holidays up there. If you drop in, welcome!

Something I have been thinking about lately, thought already by greater men than I:

A man cannot govern a nation if he cannot govern a city; he cannot govern a city if he cannot govern his family; he cannot govern his family unless he can govern himself, and he cannot govern himself if his passions are not governed by reason.

- Hugo Grotius (1587-1645)

Another:

He that would govern others, first should be the master of himself.

- Philip Massinger (1583-1640)

Perhaps this is the origin of the above?

He who controls others may be powerful, but he who has mastered himself is mightier still.

- Lao-tzu (ca. 500 BC)

I picked up my textbooks for the Christian Leadership course I am taking in January. Turns out I have about 5000 WORDS or so to be written in response to the 3 TEXTBOOKS, before January 4!

Blogging may be light in the forthcoming weeks.

My 2 year old, he has a favourite website.

The funny thing is, neither my wife nor I knew how to get to it, until we spied on the little blighter.

We watched him climb into the computer chair and take up the mouse. He proceeded to mess with my desktop, clicking and dragging icons into a cryptic pattern only explainable by chaos theory or a toddler’s imagination.

Then it started.

He clicked on Start.

Then on All Programs.

Then he went to the second column of installed applications and selected “Internet Explorer”.

Then when the default homepage opened (http://canoe.ca), he clicked on the HOROSCOPE button?

Then on the left, what do you know. There was a kids’ website button. Clicky clicky, and there he was!

When my wife explained what he was doing on the phone to me, I literally burst into gales of laughter, and my carpool very nearly panicked as I was wracked and paralyzed while whipping along at 60km/h.

Then I got home and watched him do it again. This ain’t random chance, folks. And he taught himself to do it.

Astounding. I know adults that couldn’t find anything under Start without 8 pages of instructions.

You Should Be a Science Fiction Writer

Your ideas are very strange, and people often wonder what planet you’re from. And while you may have some problems being “normal,” you’ll have no problems writing sci-fi. Whether it’s epic films, important novels, or vivid comics… Your own little universe could leave an important mark on the world!

What Type of Writer Should You Be?

Hat tip to Sammy.

One can only hope. Now… if I could find the time and the subject matter to actually start and finish this herculean task.

That is the question of the season.

I am breaking open a big can of Shane-o-Judgement.

My kids: mostly naughty but they are so darn cute.

My wife: naughty rarely (is this good and bad? Good or bad? Am I in trouble for even bringing this up?), nice mostly.

My family: pretty nice this year.

My boss: passably nice. Then again I haven’t done anything stupid like… say… not sell anything and not call anyone for an extended period of time. Busyness is key to keeping one’s boss nice.

My friends: very nice. This is a far cry from childhood when even my friends were mostly naughty. When your friends are naughty and your enemies are naughty you wonder if there are any nice people left. I found them all and they are over 25 in general.

My cats: (Geez! Cats! What kind of a man are you anyway?) nicer than to be expected, though one has a deplorably naughty habit of stretching herself while braced with claws embedded in our best furniture.

My airline (in 2006, this was British Airways): NAUGHTY! Nice customer experience, but they lost all our African souvenirs and offered us a pittance, and only after we exhausted ourselves emotionally, calling them about 18 zillion times and faxing their claims department until we were alternately blue and purple in the face.

My new truck: niiiice… yeah. Flame red Dodge Ram 1500 4×4 oooo… I’ve been waiting oh sooo long for you… then you got RECALLED twice in one day! Naughty! Who puts a stupid child seat in the passenger seat anyway in a quad cab?

My vacations:

• Rwanda: NICE! No muggings, no evil. Just good people and good work, and a sweet young girl flirting with a strapping youth to while away the hours. Ah young love… wonder if will go anywhere?
• Saltery Bay: NICE! No beach, but the rocks were alive with sea life. The kids had a blast, I had a blast. My wife was not driven insane, except for that day when we argued about appropriate discipline. Sometimes I fail to recognize the right times to let things go.

Little secret to all you who thought that this had anything to do with what I get people for Christmas: only sadists ever actually cut off naughty people at Christmas.

Then again, I ain’t sending British Airways a card. No matter how nice a settlement they gave us for our lost luggage.

The Joys of Screwing, the old-fashioned way.

It’s worksafe. Really. In fact, I could read it to my 6 year old. He’d find it boring probably, but you won’t. Enjoy.

Things that I thought were cool this weekend:

• taught my oldest boy the first 2 lines of “Away in a Manger”
• practiced my guitar (I really suck - every practice session is a victory!)
• wrote some pretty good blog posts over on thepolitic.com (if I do say so myself)
• won a “Day off With Pay” at the work “Holiday Party”
• put up a couple more of those dang blinds
  • Let me just dwell on that for a moment. I hate installing blinds. Almost as much as I hate cleaning toilets. My screws keep hitting metal plating under the plaster, and they blunt or slip sideways causing me and my immense burly strength (or is that stench) to drive the drill into the drywall right next to where I was aiming. Then the drill ran out of battery power… bringing my ambition to a crashing halt. Guh.

Good times. This excites me.

Oops. Almost forgot one.

• I got to check out my wife in a dinner gown, twice. She’s so , my wife. I am a lucky man to live with such eye candy. Did I mention my wife is ?
• No picture for you. For my eyes only.