Confessions of a Shiftless Mind

Between last night and this morning, I can definitively say that God has already used this class in my life.

Last weekend I began to realize that I was in a bit of a funk. I used the word “discouraged” to describe my status to my pastor and to my wife on different occasions. I thought I knew what was discouraging me, and that may be true, but what I have received last night and this morning was encouragement.

I think I struggle with doubt. Last night we were challenged to look into another student’s eyes and try to understand something about them, simply from looking them in the eye for 30 seconds or so. We were then to tell them what we saw and ask if it were accurate. It was an exercise in empathy and in understanding.

One woman said that she saw in me a man who loved people, who understood the outsider, the excluded, because I had once been excluded. I was shocked that she could see this in me - if you knew my life, you would know that this is very accurate and has been accurate since I was even in elementary school.

I have been aware of this, but I really appreciated that someone recognized this in myself. Then this morning, I walked into class late, with the professor discussing the failings of many pastors in terms of sin that has “taken them out”. Not just sexual sin, but sins of pride, arrogance, and more. As we began to pray together, God brought to me an awareness that he has protected me from many sins. He has gifted me with a humility related to my vulnerability to temptation, but he has kept me from sin in so many ways. He has given me a stubbornness in the face of hardship. I think he has gifted me for service. I don’t know when I will be asked to step into it, or how much I still need to learn, but I think he has prepared me with the character needed to be in leadership. Now… to work on the skills.

In my first day of my newest course on spiritual formation, we were encouraged to think about where we see God. It is a point of appreciation to God to recognize his beauty, his mercy, his power, his magnificence. I have tried to start a series of posts before. I think I will make it a point of honor for God to answer this question once a day. I may not succeed but I will strive for it, by the grace of God.

We found out yesterday we are having a boy again - yay us! Except for we have this funny thing we started, where we use the same letters in each of our kids’ names, so we are starting to run out of ideas after three boys.

The rules are:

1. The name must use only the letters “A”,”D”, “L”, “N”, or “Y”
2. Letters may be repeated
3. Letters do not have to be used.

Suggestions are welcome! Or vote on which you like the best.

I should add that Dylan, Lyndan, and Aydan are out.

Some possibilities -

Alyn or Allyn, Andy, Dany, Dan, Dyn, Landyn, Layn, Lany, Nyl

My company had a draw for a pair of BC Lions tickets for Saturday’s game against the Toronto Argonauts. I won! Woo hoo! Check out my winning spin.

Good thing I don’t have to share with this “Edward” guy.

I promise I won’t go as over-the-top as I did at the Western Final last year. (I’m in the black hat and orange hair.)

It is a little country in Africa, just a little north of Ethiopia, on the Red Sea.

In that little country a young Christian woman was kidnapped, tortured, and finally killed for refusing to recant her faith.

When did this happen? 1500 years ago? Was her sister thrown to the Lions?No, this isn’t the Roman Empire, friends. This is 21st Century Islam.

Amnesty International reports that there are over 2000 Christians imprisoned in Eritrea today, jailed for nothing other than their faith.You would think that there would be some kind of tit-for-tat, revenge killings in such a culturally backward place.

You would be wrong. The Christians of Eritrea are peaceful, following the way of their master, Jesus Christ who called for turning the other cheek to one’s enemies.This is the difference. It is utter hypocrisy that nobody even knows about such events, while we get spoon-fed Britney Spears on the MTV Video Awards by our “news” sources.

No, not all religions are the same. Some are simply wrong. Don’t fall into the trap of “all religions are the same”. Get educated. Find out the truth. Don’t take the easy answer.

And for those of you (you know who you are) who used to take their Christian faith seriously but don’t anymore, think about that woman, tortured and killed for her faith. Jesus meant more to her than life itself. You know this, it’s just easier to live life for yourself.

Come back to Him. He’s waiting with open arms, and you’ll never regret it for a second.

Well, not really. But they feel funny as they build calluses.

Why calluses do you ask? Because I am trying to learn how to play guitar.

I don’t know why I’ve never learned an instrument. Every time I encounter music I enjoy it. I love to sing (though voice lessons have left me untrained, I am told I am not painful to listen to), I’ve always had a substantial music collection, I even took a music theory course back in my early days of college which was a blast even though I had no practical application for it. Now I am married to a wife who sings, I have a piano in my house, and I still have no training.

About 6 months ago, my wife and I bought ourselves guitars to learn to play together. We started making some progress (she faster than I), then got busy and never got back to it. Her musical background meant that she started identifying chords and reading music better whereas I struggled with memorizing stuff. Plus I got frustrated with a couple of problem chords and I felt like I wasn’t learning any actual songs. It is harder to learn when you can’t see the practical application.

However, a few weeks ago I stumbled across a couple of worship songs with simple chords - some that I even knew! I started working on them, and now that I am actually feeling like I am getting somewhere, I am encouraged. Being encouraged always helps a person find the time to practice.

My enthusiasm is contagious, it turns out. My son, nearly 7, has become very interested as well. I wanted to pick up some easy nursery rhymes and kids’ songs to play for the boys, but could find nothing online. This led me to the Long and McQuade.

Of course, they didn’t have any children’s songbooks. Lots of Metallica, Led Zeppelin. Not so much for kids. I did however find a “learn to play guitar” book written for ages 5 and up. This got me thinking, why not let the kid learn? I can always steal the songs out of that for the other two.

Which led me to looking at guitars for the little guy. They make 1/2, 3/4, and full size guitars. The 3/4 looked a little large for him, and they were fresh out of 1/2 given the rush that happened last week. Apparently a lot of people buy kid sized guitars at the beginning of the school year. However, I knew that Toys R Us had $30 half size, so I hopped over there and set the boy up. It remains to be seen whether the guitar will hold a tune for more than a few minutes… but hey, until he makes clear that this is something he will be serious about, I think it’s a good investment.

After 30 minutes or so of practice yesterday, he seems pretty serious. He didn’t complain about the strings hurting his fingers so that’s a good sign (considering it hurts mine, I feel bad my 6 year old is tougher than me).

Heh. Good times.

I am looking at my screen and I have 4 different posts that are 1/2 to 2/3 written. I wonder if they will ever get finished. Most of them represent something topical and timely that I began to write, then had to set aside because of time invasions. Now they aren’t as relevant to the time or to my life currently.

So they sit.

Anyway, Good old Jamie, he recently dragged up all his posts on missional topics. I read over his “What is Missional… to me?” post, and so was hence inspired to push this subject around for myself.

What does that word mean to me? It brings to my mind the whole “Emerging/Emergent Church” (take your pick) question initially. That gives it a connotation of newness, which immediately is contradicted by good old Solomon, “What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun.” (Ecclesiastes 1:9). However, whether or not this is really new is irrelevant to my mind - it becomes subservient to questions like, “Is it useful/edifying/catalyzing?”; “Will this affect my walk with God positively?”; “Will it affect others that way?”

I still haven’t answered the question. I’ve only framed what I think about when the word comes up. To me, “missional” describes the primary function of the church. I really am convinced that the Great Commission (Matt. 28:18-20) is what the church is all about. Some have suggested that the two greatest commandments (Matthew 22:37-39) may be a more accurate view - I think that they are the means we must use to fulfill the Great Commission.

The thing about the Great Commission is we aren’t called to tell people about Jesus, convince them they are sinners, and get them to “pray a prayer”. We are called to make disciples. What is a disciple? It is a follower of Jesus. This is a completely different thing than what the goal of most evangelistic methods are. For years I have beat myself up about not “sharing my faith”. But my faith should flow out of who I am. I haven’t been living in such a way that people ask me about my faith - because I haven’t been loving my neighbour like I should be. If we want to know why the church isn’t growing in North America, it is because it isn’t loving.

So, the church’s mission is to make disciples by loving God and loving their neighbour. It is important to recognize that it is impossible to love God without loving your neighbour. If you think you’re good at loving God but not so good at loving your neighbour, you aren’t loving God. Loving your neighbour means being Jesus for them - serving them, helping them, showing them mercy, forgiveness, and modelling peace. If you are doing all these things, they will notice. As long as you are open about why it is you are doing these things (because you are a Christian, a Christ follower), they will make the connection and see God through you. That is the Holy Spirit at work.

How does the body of Christ fit into this? The church body, or organization should exist to facilitate corporate worship, yes, but I think second to equipping believers in their faith, learning more about their saviour, and encouraging them to accomplishing their mission - to love God and love their neighbour. It seems to me the church should almost be a disciple training school, although I don’t think this needs to look as formal as the image suggests. It is the ends that are of interest, not the means. The ends are to produce mature disciples of Jesus.

It is funny, as I write this, I am beginning to notice the formulation of values, vision and mission. I wonder if this will figure into my future?

My son’s reaction to hearing that we had our truck stolen in the Calgary Zoo parking lot, so we’d have to take a cab: “I’ve never ridden in a taxi before - this is my lucky day!”

Yup. So I take some left behind household items and furniture out to my in-laws on my dime, out of the goodness of my heart. I burned about $250 in gas hauling their stuff out there (one way). I thought, hey, I’ll give my kids a treat on the way home and take them to the Calgary Zoo. 2 hours later we stumble out overheated, footsore, and ready for a bit of a car ride in air-conditioning to a camping spot in the Kootenays.

But no truck. It gone.

Suddenly, we can’t go camping. Suddenly, we can’t even go home. We scramble to a motel, get a room for the night, and I head out on the LRT to the airport to rent a vehicle to get us home. 2 hours later I found my way back to the motel room. My kids had cried themselves to sleep when they realized the “bad men” had their stuffed animals and their pillows. Then we had to cram the whole 12 hour drive home into the holiday Monday instead of leisurely driving back through the Kootenays.

It would be easy to be bitter, to think about how I’ve been repaid evil for good, but really, it wasn’t my in-laws who stole my truck. It was probably a couple of crackheads looking to make a getaway with some stolen goods, and they just picked my truck, despite the 3 child seats in the back and our camping supplies, because they were too high or desperate for a fix to think of anything else. It certainly seems that way, as we got a call from a credit card company that they tried to use a cancelled card, panicked, and dropped stuff at a Rona. My wife’s ID is for sure there… maybe they left the truck in the parking lot.

We’ll find out soon. Then I have to figure out how to get the truck back from Calgary.